Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Difference Between Regular Friends and Mike

Friends: Never ask for anything to eat or drink
Mike: Helps himself and is the reason why you have no food

Friends: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs.
Mike: Calls your parents dude and dude

Friends: Would bail you out of jail
Mike: Is the reason you are in jail

Friends: Have never seen you cry
Mike: Makes you cry

Friends: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back
Mike: Will deny ever having your stuff and then pawn it for some cash

Friends: Only know a few things about you
Mike: Could care less

Friends: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough
Mike: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "What a dumb ass"

Friends: Helps you up when you fall
Mike: Will start laughing when you fall

Friends: Will offer you a soda
Mike: Will make you get him a soda

Friends: Gives you their umbrella in the rain
Mike: Takes your umbrella and says, "Run bitch run"

Friends: Will help you move
Mike: Will supervise you move

Friends: You have to tell them not to tell anyone
Mike: Will tell someone the minute you leave

Friends: Are only for a short time
Mike: Is for life

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